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"Eyes of Texas" Pre-Test

Updated: Jan 19

Can you ace Austin Aloha’s “Eyes of Texas” non-interactive quiz?


Correct answers will be posted on Thursday, December 3.

Reddick Report due in January

Over the summer, University of Texas President Jay Hartzell asked Associate Equity Dean Richard Reddick to lead a fresh interrogation of the school’s song, “The Eyes of Texas.” At the time of the song’s first performance in 1903, UT sports teams were not longhorns, and their orange was yet unburnt.


The report from Reddick’s team of investigators is expected in late January. Austin Aloha will post reflections on “The Eyes of Texas” leading up to the declassification of the Reddick Report.


Non-native Texans who did not attend UT will lead all research and writing.


Eyes of TX Quiz


1. The regular season match-up between Texas and OU at the Cotton Bowl is officially known as the Red River __________.


A. Rivalry

B. Shootout

C. Showdown

D. Classic

2. What is the plural of alma mater?


A. alma maters

B. mama triad

C. oedipus duplex

D. almae matres

3. Choose four of the following to construct the strongest line-up for the next season's College Football Playoff:


A. Undefeated Big 12 champ

B. 1-loss Big 10 champ

C. 1-loss ACC champ

D. 2-loss SEC champ

E. 1-loss SEC runner-up

F. 1-loss Notre Dame

4. Which fictional character is most compatible with Robert E. Lee?


A. Keyzer Soze

B. Hank Williams Jr.

C. Atticus Finch

D. Colonel Sanders

5. Who escaped the 19th Century?


A. Robert E. Lee

B. Traveller

C. Harriet Tubman

D. Emma Lazarus

6. From 1905 to 1915, sportswriters used a variety of descriptors to profile boxer Jack Johnson, the first Texan to claim the world heavyweight title. Which of the following descriptions of Johnson was the most problematic? (Reminder: Johnson was born in Galveston, TX.)


A. colored

B. Ethiopian

C. Negro

D. “I don’t see color”

7. John Lang Sinclair wrote his first draft of “The Eyes of Texas” on _________.


A. the back of an envelope

B. scrap paper from the laundry

C. a roll of Japanese tracing paper

D. an airsick bag

8. What was a touchdown worth in 1903?


A. 4 points

B. 5 points

C. I don’t believe in TDs

D. 6 points

9. In the final line of “The Eyes,” Gabriel’s horn refers to:


A. beginning of Civil War

B. the Rapture

C. archangelic Ob/Gyn house call

D. Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #2 (first demo 1718)

10. What venue hosted the first public performance of “The Eyes of Texas?”


A. Gregory Gymnasium

B. Hancock Opera House

C. Scholz Garten

D. Armadillo World Headquarters

E. Driskill Hotel

11. In the spring of 1912, could all of the Klansmen in Austin have fit on the Titanic?


A. Comfortably

B. Not all Klansmen

12. Who had a better year in 1963?


A. DKR

B. MLK

13. As if in fulfillment of prophecy, this golden boy of honeyed nativity heralded the second coming of a national title for Daddy D & the Horns. Born in Uvalde, TX in the middle of a 30-game gridiron winning streak, his Texas ministry consistently rates higher than Double-Alright.


A. Denton Van Zan

B. Rust Cohle

C. Buster Moon

D. Buddy Deeds

14. When did the Texas Longhorns football team integrate?


A. the 1520s

B. the 1790s

C. the 1870s

D. the 1970s

15. Who didn’t win the 2005 Heisman Trophy?


A. Matt Leinart

B. Reggie Bush

C. Vince Young

D. All of the above

16. After the Horns’ loss to the Sooners in this year’s Red River [Game] athletic director Chris Del Conte made a play to defend the postgame ritual of “The Eyes of Texas.”

In terms of defensive technique and execution, Del Conte’s mid-October email to alumni & boosters most closely resembled which game-changing Longhorn defensive play?


A. Blake Gideon’s pass deflection against Tech (11/1/08)


B. Todd Orlando sends the house on 3rd & 17 against LSU (9/7/19)


C. Keondre Coburn loses his helmet & keeps going against Utah (12/31/19)


D. Malcolm Roach gets early pressure on Iowa State missed FG (11/16/19)


17. In terms of ritual, which of these best characterizes player presence and presentation during the postgame singing of “The Eyes of Texas?”


A. anergic-ludic liminoid

B. ergic-ludic liminal

C. post-liminal

D. hazing

18. This heat-activated device is literally a figurative representation of the University of Texas tagline, “what starts here changes the world.”


A. thermometer

B. thermostat

Lone Star Sportmanteaux

A portmanteau is a mash-up. A classic example of a portmanteau is smog.


smog = smoke + fog


A portmanteau is an unpunctuated contraction. Celebrity couple names (like Brangelina, Kimye, or Bennifer) are proper portmanteaux.


When keeping score for a game of sportmanteau, one point is awarded per portmanteau that can be lassoed into a conversation thread. The player who first proposes the game begins with an automatic 1-point advantage. By suggesting a game of sportmanteau, the instigator has scored the first portmanteau.


sportmanteau = sport + portmanteau


Austin Aloha believes all Lone Star Portmanteaux carry geometrically more risk than reward. At present, we have approved usage for three proper portmanteaux which incorporate Texas as a root.


Texodus

Texpatriate

Texceptionalism


These three will be properly capitalized and will be non-hyphenated.


In scoring a game of Lone Star Sportmanteau, each attempt at a Texas-rooted portmanteau subtracts a point.


Austin Aloha's coverage of "The Eyes of Texas" enters December as a 5-point underdog. After factoring in deductions for not being born in Texas (-1); not attending UT (-1); and pre-snap penalties for Lone Star Portmanteau infractions (-3), Austin Aloha does not control its own destiny.


If you have ever referred to the song as “The Eyes,” please subscribe to Austin Aloha to receive timely provocations in the coming weeks.

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